The Weight Thing
I had done little to try to change any of this (and the stuff that I did try is a whole other subject for a whole other Blog entry), but for the most part I really wasn't interested in change. I figured my overeating didn't hurt anybody (except me), and that trying to change it would not succeed and would only make me unhappy (see my previous post about why I'd find that unacceptable).
Then last year, I don't know, something changed. I decided I was tired of it. I was tired of being heavy, and all the inconveniences that go along with it. I was tired of living the way I was living, and ready to change. I can't put my finger on why, or how, or what all went into the decision; I just know I was done living the way I'd been living.
Being a net geek, I first turned to the Web for help, and visited Weight Watchers. I read over their plan, and thought it might be worth a try. They have a web-based version, where I track all of my information on line and don't have to go to meetings. I like that, for reasons that have to do with past attempts to solve the whole weight issue. I am committed to this course of action, but I don't want to spend a lot of time talking about it.
For that same reason, I didn't tell any of my friends or family what I was doing. I guess maybe part of it was fear of failure--it would be so much easier to screw up privately than publicly. Most of it, though, was a sincere desire to go on with my life, which for the most part I like very much. "I don't want my whole life to be about this," is my continual mantra (and "this," of course, means weight loss). I've had experience with people who can't talk about, or think about, or do, anything that isn't related to their diet/health/exerciese/weight program, and Dear Lord, they're boring. I don't want to be one of those people.
I also want to avoid the Food Police, which are the well-meaning friends and relatives who try to "help" you by being royal pains in the you-know-what. I am an adult, and I want to make my own decisions, even if those decisions are bad ones. My friends are pretty cool people, and I knew most of them wouldn't be a problem, but the problem with the Food Police is they're not always readily apparent. You never can tell when a previously cool person will, upon hearing that you're trying to lose weight, morph into some kind of hideous Nag Monster who won't leave you alone.
And, of course, I didn't want to become the Food Police myself. It's very important to me that nobody else should have to change the decisions they get to make as adults just because I have self-control problems. If "I don't want my life to be about this," then I sure as heck don't want to force everybody else's lives to be about this either. That would be obnoxious.
So, for all of those reasons, I haven't really come out and told anybody. "Hey, I'm doing Weight Watchers." Until now. Mind you, having lost humty-hum pounds since last May, I'm pretty sure that particular cat is out of the bag. And I have to say, all my friends have been very cool and non-officious so far, which is why I feel semi-confident coming right out and saying it here.
I just hope the Food Police stay home.